The reality of summer break

Through this entire pandemic, Audrey had so many things taken away from her. She no longer went anywhere public, we hardly saw anyone except close family and she lost all in person services for the majority of the time.

April 2021 finally came and she got to return to school for shortened days. Between mask mandates, little social interactions and not a lot of students in her class returning in person, Audrey still managed to thrive in this new world. I started to see my girl come back to life. She had a routine, she got to get out of the house and was able to work on skills that I struggle to provide for her at home.

We got back to being hopeful and excited for her future at this school.

Right when her and I both started feeling better about our schedule again, summer break was here!

I decided to enroll her in summer school (which I haven’t done in the past) because I refused to let her spirit dwindle.

This once again was a new experience, new teacher, different staff and very different structure. Audrey managed to adjust… and I once again sighed with relief.

Well here we are again. Summer school

done with and five full weeks to fill. Very little therapy and worry of how to explain this to Audrey.

The first week we kept busy and she seemed happy. By the third week I saw that frustration hit again, as if she was saying “not THIS again mom.”

Daily I spoke to her about going to school soon with her teachers. But my heart breaks knowing that I can’t fully explain why yet again she’s just home with mommy.

When you have a child with a neurological disability, giving them the best possible life is the only goal. I don’t care if Audrey ever learns her alphabet or can count to 100 (well I CARE, but not in the same way others might).

But I do care about her happiness, her independence and her ability to navigate this world.

I’m a work in progress with accepting that I can’t be the only one that teaches her the skills needed in order for her to thrive.

That leaves a lot of negative thoughts in my head.

I wish for so many opportunities that honestly may never happen for my precious girl.

Although summer looks very different for families like ours, a glimmer of hope is all we need to get by.

We recently met a new neighborhood family at a park very close. They have been so accepting and it honestly makes me happy to know there are friends out there for my child. The mom is quickly becoming a friend and her three children are kind and so selfless. They are including Audrey in everything they do and are so very accommodating. This doesn’t happen often and I am thankful that we have found them.

I know Audrey will get back into the swing of things as soon as school starts back up. This makes me happy and also sad because it forces me to accept that her needs take a village to be met.

I often wonder when the weight will be lifted, when I will feel like she’s getting what she needs to be the best version of herself.

We both continue to grow as we #kickCASK

Stayed tuned for all of the highs and lows of first grade!

.

.