Com·mu·ni·ca·tion
kəˌmyo͞onəˈkāSH(ə)n/< em>noun< strong>1. the imparting or exchanging of information or news.”direct communication between the two countries will produce greater understanding”
2. means of connection between people or places, in particular.
These definitions say so much… a non -verbal person has such a hard time connecting to people. Wow. To actually read those words stings a bit because it is often true with my daughter. So many moments of our day are spent trying to connect, trying to understand Audrey.
It is frustrating, sad and more often than not, it leaves me feeling completely helpless.
Everyone has bad or “off” days. I know I certainly do. Those are the days I reach out to my friends, maybe grab a drink or treat myself to something yummy or pampering. And even though this doesn’t fix or solve what originally made me feel this way, in that moment, it helps.
Special needs life is never this simple. In particular, a non-verbal special needs life. My daughter doesn’t get to tell me what would make her feel better in that moment of frustration. As a mom, this kills me. Sure I can put on her favorite show, attempt to feed her what I know she likes, play songs or read books that usually bring her joy. But I never truly know what is making her feel this way. Does she have a headache? Is she just tired? Tummy upset? Frustrated that her body can’t do the things she wants it to do.
So on these tough days, I go through my list but often times not much works. As a mom, this is unbelievably hard. To know your baby is struggling and not be able to do anything to help them. Imagine having zero say on your daily activities. Audrey doesn’t get to choose what she eats, what she wears, where she goes or even what she wants to play. Now you may be thinking that is most toddlers. But usually, they have some say. They voice their outfit choice and their food preferences at minimum.
We work so hard every day to teach Audrey to make these choices. I’m very hopeful that the new therapy we have started this month will help particularly in this area of communication. But I know it’s always going to be a struggle. It’s always going to be work. And it most likely may never look the way you or I communicate.
Some days this is hard to digest. Please don’t take speech/communication for granted. It’s something I long for every single day.
Kicking CASK 